if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize