hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
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