Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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