you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
