a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
