yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
