Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
