If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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