Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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