Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
