two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
