So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
