Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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