Me. At least after what I've been through.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
