plz talk dirty to me
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
