I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
