Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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