so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm like, not good at living.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
