Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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