then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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