I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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