Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
