i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
