watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
