Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
