Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
ok first of all what the fuck
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
