He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
