so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
