**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize