Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
