i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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