I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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