exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
