She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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