I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
