Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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