She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
