real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
