My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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