everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize