Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
