Are we in a gay sports bar?
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
