Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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