I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
