can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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