In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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