I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
