So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
