Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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