made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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