I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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