he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
