Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
