It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
