My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize