It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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