you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
