So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
