What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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