? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize