I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
