I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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