How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
