So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
