I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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