seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
