Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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