this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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